"....have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Thursday, June 5, 2014


I saw love and yet didn't
It was hiding behind my door
Crouching like a mouse
I didn't know what to do
But I took a step forward
Bent down a bit
And gave it a comforting look
It stared back still scared
What next I thought?
I fumbled, looking for the right words to pick on
See I didn't want to hurt it, even by chance
This was my first encounter with love
Never dreamt I'd run into it
In a state as such!
I reached out with my hand
Thought I'll help it stand upright 
Before anything was said and done
Love looked up with big, bold, beautiful eyes at me
I returned a reassuring gaze
In that moment we both knew
That even if we had just met
I could trust love and love could trust me!
Love's hands were still shivering with beads of sweat
When it clenched onto mine
Suddenly, for no reason
I felt reassured instead!
I gently pulled it up
Helped it find balance beneath it's wriggly feet
Love was now standing at least
Shaking, but still standing
And then it stared back at me
With those big, beady, catlike eyes
As if pleading to let go
But I couldn't for I knew it wouldn't survive long, if I did
I finally stepped up some courage and spoke
Or rather, stammered loudly
But you are love? Aren't you?
How can you be so frail and weak?
I always thought you were the strongest, most powerful thing in the world!
That the Universe responded to you
That you made the planets, the sun, the stars, the moon
Go around the way they did
That you were responsible for creating life
That every living thing gained strength in your presence!!!
Then how? Just tell me how could you be the way you are now?
What happened?
After ranting my heart out, I realised I was talking less and shouting more
I wanted love to understand, that I who had grown up
To believe that in love, with love and through love
I could do, be or face anything in this world
It was downright hard for me to digest
The fact that Love could be so weak! 
That maybe I was stronger than love just for this one moment
But that's absurd! How can that ever be, even if that's what this looked like?
I sighed weighing my thoughts heavily
And stared back at love, waiting for an answer
Love looked scared still, but its legs were not wriggly anymore
I instantly felt bad for voicing out what I felt
Learning to keep my thoughts to myself is something I was clearly yet to master!
I smiled at love and let go of it's hand
Yes! It was still afraid but it didn't need my support to stand anymore
Then I did something I never thought I would
I took another step forward and hugged love real tight
I don't know why I did it..but then I just did..
For a second I didn't feel a thing
And then I felt a sudden rush of warmth climbing through my veins
Gushing through my arteries and blood cells 
It was headed right for my heart..!
Closing in like a storm through the clouds
A nano second before the impact..
I realised
Love was hugging me instead of the other way round
And then BOOM! The warmth missile had hit its target!
I thought I'd see heaven in a second but I saw stars instead
Big, small, shiny, fading, far way and some almost within reach
So this was what outer space felt or rather looked like I thought
Everything so darker than the blackest of black could be
Yet so bright and lit up with fireworks bursting everywhere
I wasn't in a spaceship and yet I was flying
Just me and this insanely beautiful weirdness surrounding me
And then it was gone!
Something hit my head hard and my eyes flew open
I was the one crouching like a mouse behind my door now
Feeling dazed and disoriented
And love was peering down at me through those big, bold, beautiful eyes
I didn't understand! 
I yelled: 'Hold on! Wasn't I the one who was holding you?'
You were the one who was weak and frail! Not me!
How come I am the one with wriggly legs on the ground now?
And from where did you get the strength to help me up?
Look at you! So strong and powerful and free like I always thought you'd be
Wait a second! Were you playing with me?
For if you were then are a brilliant actor Love!
Through all this outrage, I had managed to stand up
I was scared but still standing on my own
And Love stood there, looking right back at me
Smiling for the first time!
And then it spoke, the only words it spoke:
'I am, what you see in YOU
I only reflect what you feel
To show you what's true
Even if it makes you kneel
I am, a part of you and you are a part of me
And that's the way it will always be!'
We were both no longer weak nor afraid
No! We were now not smiling, but laughing our hearts out
The fall, the hug, the warmth, the missile
It was all so perfectly orchestrated!
I looked love in the eye
Took it's hand in mine
And said : 'Thank You! Thank you for touching my heart!'
For I had seen love and yet didn't..

Image courtesy : Google Images 

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